Is This My Desire Or Love?
by MomoBrook
Summary: Losing someone that you love can hurt, a lot. But what happens, when love calls again, in many different ways? This reader's point of view story can bring memories, anger, and even desires. This story includes many different relationships, but its fantasy like. Reader's choice will be included soon so please tell me which relationship you would like in this story!
1. New Calling

You never understood why _he_ died. It was the year you lost the one you loved, who was in the Survey Corps. As you waited for days, waiting for them to return, when the Survey Corps returned, you didn't find him. "Unfortunately, _ has died." You were told by a neighbor that they were eaten, by a titan. A depression overcame you. _Why me? What's the point of living?_ You couldn't find a way to forgive yourself. Until you heard a conversation in the village.

"Hey, have you heard about Alik?" You overheard a nearby elderly lady say.

"Oh yeah, he joined the Survey Corps, right?" Another voice whispered quietly, as if to be discreet.

Oh no. The Survey Corps? That was considered a horrible thing among villagers. Why would Alik, join the Survey Corps? He was your childhood friend, but had stopped talking to you after you started hanging out with _.You never understood why. You listened on.

"Why would Alik join the Survey Corps?" The lady lowered her voice.  
"I heard that his mother was eaten by a titan a couple years ago after she so called 'disappeared' , and that he wants to avenge her." You gulped, out of fear someone would hear you or see you, after the woman looked around.  
"Oh young children and their superstitions. I wonder if he might die soon." Superstitions?

Your heart started to ache. Alik dying?! His mother eaten?! You couldn't bear to lose someone else who was close to her. You whispered to yourself, "I will join the Survey Corps, and avenge _!" You _closed your mouth. Did anyone hear me? Was I too quick to take action?_ You didn't care decided to join the Survey Corps, out of the dreaded thought of possibly dying. _You will avenge them._ You decided to apply for the Survey Corps. You were determined to be successful.

But some begged to differ.

"Joining the Survey Corps?! That's crazy!" Your mother, Dana, thought it would be horrible to join.

"Sister is joining the Survey Corps? Cool!" Your little brother,Caine, always eager for adventure, was proud. But your mother closed his ears.

"I'm not going to allow you to kill yourself like that!"

You finally said something. "This is my life though! I can do what I want!"

"Exactly! Your life is important! I don't want you to lose your life like he did.."

You stood your ground, until you noticed. She wasn't talking about _. She was talking about your father. You never really knew your father, but he was in the Survey Corps. He disappeared somehow, but no one knew, so he was marked as dead.

Your mother continued. "If you end up like him, dead and gone, I won't be able to forgive myself. Your brother will be sad and depressed." You looked at your brother. His innocent looking hazel eyes were glistening. His brown hair that he inherited from father shivered as you touched it. _Caine..._ You thought. Caine looked up at you, smiling. He looked as if he approved. You looked back up to your mom, who looked like she was in grief and pain. You walked over to her, and hugged her.

"Mom," You silently said.

"Yes? You noticed she was sniffling, probably crying.

"I'm sorry to have caused you grief. But however, I have to join. For your sake, for Caine's sake, dad's sake, and for _." The room suddenly felt frozen. Your mom was quiet. Finally, she looked at you and said, "I will support you. Throughout the whole way until I die." You nodded.

* * *

 **Author's Thoughts: This is my first fanfiction! I really do hope some of you like it.**

 **Update: There were many problems with it, so I updated it. Sorry to anyone who noticed it. I made it in third person before a reader perspective.**


	2. Back To The Beginning

Here you were, in training 3 years after you had left home. You were a wonderful soldier, even valedictorian. No one could stop how powerful you were. Other than one person, Alik. Alik hasn't talked to you in all the time you have been here. Every time you would pass by him, he would just stay quiet. With everyone else, he was nice to. He didn't treat them like he treated you. You wondered when he would ever talk to you. Until that day.

A trainer, who was taking over for Shadis, wanted for you and your trainee squad to work in pairs. You were glad, for you were late.

"One day, hopefully never, it just might be two of you left to fight off a number of titans. We want for you guys to be able to rely on each other. We are going to pair you guys up based on rank. Let's get to it!" Everyone agreed and saluted.

You froze. Based on rank? That would mean… You held your chest.

"Hey [Y/N]!"

You turned around to see your friend, Ryia. She had brown hair and hazel eyes. She became your friend when you became a trainee. She was the only girl from her village that joined. She wasn't weak, nor was she strong. She was very cute, and was one of the most normal girls you have ever met. She knew about Alik and what happened to him. Ever since, she has thought of him as your love interest.

"I looked at the list of partners. It seems that you're with Alik… Wink Wink."

Your face felt warm and cringed as Ryia smirked. You didn't like Alik as a lover or anything… You just cared a lot for him.

"Good Luck, [Y/N]!"

"What do you mean good luck?!" You snapped back as Ryia ran away to be with her partner. It was Gryol. She liked him ever since she met him. He was pretty handsome, but he was also rude and was a playboy. You shook your head. You wanted to be happy for her. You thought back to Alik and got nervous. What would end up happening now?!

You looked toward Alik. _What would I do?_

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 **Author's Note: This was such a short chapter.. Ha it was indeed I hope you will come for the next one!**


	3. Chasing A Man

You had to be prepared for it. You decided to start walking over to Alik, when he suddenly ran into an alley! You whispered to yourself, "Not this time! We got training to do!" You ran after him. He ran faster. His short dirty blonde hair flowed behind him as he ran deeper into the alley. What was he trying to do?

You guys were getting farther from everyone, until he stopped. He went inside of a small house, a shack? Why would he go in there? Your curiosity led you inside.

"Hello?" You called out. "Hey, we have to start training. Where are you, Alik?" You walked further into the dark shack. You felt breath on your neck and froze. You slowly turned around to see Alik. He was close to your face.

"Hey." His voice was deep. You could feel his heated breath against your face.

"Umm, hi." You replied.

"What's that face for?" His voice suddenly lightened and he looked confused. You let out a heavy sigh.

"I thought you didn't want to train with me..." You looked up at him, his face neutral. What was he thinking?

You continued. "I thought you were angry at me so you tried to avoid me.."

"Well, I wouldn't say I was mad at you… I was just, confused…" He scratched his head. His face was no longer neutral. The old Alik you knew.

You were confused. "What do you mean?"

Alik sighed in frustration. "You're hopeless. I mean _."

You froze. You didn't want to hear that name again. Your face turned a flushed pink. You started to feel tears run down your face as you touched it. Why? Why were you crying? You asked yourself this. You thought you had gotten over it years ago. But you knew you hadn't. Alik folded his lips, in regret and concern. "I'm sorry…" You shook your head. You didn't want anyone to feel bad.

"I-it's fine." You cleared your throat. "I'm over it. We should get going." You tried to change the subject.

Alik stared at you for a moment. The air stopped moving. He breathed in and said something.

"Hey, [Y/N]. You really want to know why I was confused?"

You looked up towards him. You were only 164 centimeters, but Alik was 179 centimeters. Pretty tall. You looked up towards his light emerald eyes and answered, "Yes. I would like to know. I'm worried." He nodded and grabbed your arms.

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 **Author's Note: I'm uploading this so that I will be satisfied with myself. Lol!**


	4. Reality, Or My Past?

He came close.

Before you could object, move, struggle, Alik's lips were pressed against yours. _They were soft…_ You tried to move away, out of reflex, but he held both of your arms and pulled you closer. You couldn't move. All you could do is embrace him. You closed your eyes slowly. What am I doing? That's what you asked. You only kissed once before, but never like this. You never kissed Alik, in a situation like this. You thought about it as Alik kissed you for what seemed like a long time.

* * *

"_ is back! _-aniki!" You heard Caine yell as he ran out the door. You were just finished cooking. You opened the door, checking to see if anything was wrong with you physically. After a small check, you ran out the door. When you went outside, you saw _, playing with Caine. He gave Caine a small present, which Caine never showed you. When _ noticed you and looked towards you, he smiled, as always. You smiled at him and nodded towards Caine to go inside. Caine held his present and grinned from ear to ear as he danced inside. After the door was closed, you walked up slowly to _. His vibrant tired green eyes shifted to your movement and sparkled. You noticed he was smirking. You were blushing?! You shook your head, and hugged _. "It's nice to see you too, [Y/N]." You realized you hadn't said a word. "I'm sorry, I was just too happy that you were home." He held you against his chest as you smelled it. He told you he would be killing titans all today, but he smelled nice. What was this smell? It smelled like...a fresh field of flowers and grass. You heavily breathed in. "Today was a long day. We had a practice of killing titans, but we ran into Aberrants and Abnormals. It was crazy." You looked up towards him, he was only 172 centimeters at the time. "Was anyone injured?" _ looked forward. "Only 2 were injured. 2 others died." You lowered your eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry." _ flinched and looked down at you. "No, no it's fine, really! I mean, the deaths were small this time. There's no reason to worry. Even if they did die, it wasn't in vain. Don't be discouraged." You tightened your grip on him. "But it's not fair how they died like that. I wish anyone could have done something. Even I would have tried to do something." You heard a small chuckle. "Of course you would. That's the kind of person you are." You replied, "I wish I could have been there. I don't want someone to die because of an accident. It's so unfair. I wish titans had the courtesy to show kindness. Its...just.. " You couldn't finish your sentence. You started to feel tears run down your cold face. You buried yourself in _'s shirt. You heard a sigh from _. As you looked up to see his face, probably in a sarcastic mood to make you laugh, you saw different. He was looking at you with, concern. You weren't expecting this at all. He was just, staring with an expression you hadn't seen. He showed concern many times, sure, but this was a whole different thing. "_?" You asked while your voice trembled in fear. He didn't say anything, it was like he was dead. You were about to say something, but decided not to. Why? Is this a precious moment? You couldn't bring yourself to a thought like that. It seemed though, that he leaned in towards you, moderately slow. As you began to lean too, having to resort to using your tips of your toes, something happened. He had kissed you. It seemed...that all time had come to a halt. You noticed as you stared at him, that this was...your first kiss. As _ pulled you away, you couldn't help but redden. _ smiled and laughed. You didn't understand completely what that meant.

* * *

You came back to reality.

He took one of his hands and put it up against your warm face as he touched your hair. You soon gave up on struggling to let go. You opened your eyes, to meet Alik's. He had a certain look in his eye. He had that "You're so cute" look. It only made you blush more. You never noticed that Alik had the ability to look like this. Your heart stirred only faster.

After a period of silence, he pulled you away slowly. You noticed that your face was red. What was happening? Why was your heart pounding? Before you could say something like "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT" like you would've, he said, "Ever since you fell in love with _, I was mad. I didn't want him to be with you. I just wanted you to be mine. I stopped talking to you because I felt I wouldn't be able to control myself. That's why." You stayed quiet as he looked at you for a moment, and then continued as he blushed lightly. _That's so hot.._ "When my mom died, I felt that I had no one else to be with. I joined here because I wanted not only to avenge my mother, but to avoid you. But it seems that I couldn't do that." He laughed a little as he scratched his head. He felt pretty relieved, as you noticed.

You smiled at first, but as you thought, you felt another way. Even when _ was dead, he still avoided you. There were many times when he could have comforted you. He even saw you cry once and still avoided you. You were happy that he was talking to you, but you were mad. You didn't feel like hearing it. What kind of excuse was that? You gritted your teeth. You knew you were stubborn and hypocritical, but you felt...angry. "[Y/N]? Are you okay?" You looked back up at Alik. You had the right to be angry. Alik began to let you go as you started to walk away.

"[Y/N]! Wait up!" He put his hand on your shoulder.

You turned around quickly and slapped his hand away. Alik backed up, surprised.

"Do you know…"You stopped for a moment. Was this really the right thing? Alik likes you, but he knew your pain. You continued." Do you know how lonely I was when _ died? Very lonely. I had no one to be with. No one was as close as he was to me other than family. When I noticed how much you avoided me, I felt sad. You avoided me. For 6 years. Six cold, long, lonely years without anyone who understood. Yet, you watched me struggle." Alik was about to say something, but stopped. You were right. He KNEW what was happening. You walked away and opened the door of the shack. Before you left, you said to him, "I want you to know what it feels like to be alone. Please. Stay away from me. Goodbye, Alik." You walked out and slammed the door. You kept going, not looking back when you felt Alik's eyes on you. You continued walking, determined to never talk to him again.

You decided to stay out for a moment. You didn't come back until the sun started to set and the dinner bell rang. The trainer really didn't care that you were late. You sat down, ready to eat dinner. Ryia, prepped up as usual was asking questions non-stop.

"Where did you go today? What did you do? You worried me." As you were about to answer, you saw Alik, staring at you. You averted your gaze. "I was simply training by myself." You looked down at your food as Alik looked to his left in shame. Should I feel bad? No. I will just avoid him, avoid him until I surpass him. These were your thoughts.

You wanted him to feel pain. Just like you did. But as you thought for a long time, you noticed something. What was it? I wasn't listening to something. It was something so essential. Then it snapped. You realized. You weren't angry at Alik, you just knew him. As you started to cry once again, snot running out of your nose as you fell on your knees, you screamed.

It was too late. You had forgot the one you loved. You couldn't hear his name. For you no longer remembered it.

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 **Author's note: Well, aren't we in a pickle? This chapter was so long. Come back for the next one!**


	5. The Plan

"[Y/N]?! HEY [Y/N]! Are you okay?!" Ryia shook you as you laid there, on the ground in front of the Mess Hall. You were crying. "Huh?" You sighed as you sat up.

Ryia was in panic. "I HEARD CRYING AND THEN HEARD SOMETHING FALL SO I CAME OUT HERE TO SEE YOUR- BIG BEHIND!" You were tired. You noticed how Ryia was about to swear. It was so cute. She never cursed, and was always a goody-goody. _God damn I'm weird..._ A part of yourself said that to yourself, but the rest of you thought it was so cute. You reached out your arms towards Ryia. "Ryia..." She came closer and started to shake you. "[Y/N]!? Are you okay!? You're acting drunk... Don't tell me you ran into Pixis..." You wrappped your arms around her as she squirmed. "No... I didn't see Pixis... I'm just happy that you're my friend... My best friend..." Ryia pushed you away as she blushed from ear to ear. "[Y/N]? Are you sure there's nothing wrong with you?" You nodded and smiled softly as everything went more blurry. "It's...fine.." You blacked out.

* * *

You woke up in your bed. You had a huge headache, and felt like chundering. _What in the heck happened?_ You slowly got up from your bed and put on your pants, boots, and a green top. You went outside to see what was happening. You went outside to see Shadis talking to some soldiers. _OH CRAP! I gotta avoid him... He's gonna scold me and I'll be in huge trouble. I can hear it now. Fainting 5 days before the selection of what kind of soldier I wanna be? Psh. I would probably be killed._ You thought these words as you made your way around Shadis and the soldiers. You continued walking, looking for Ryia. You had to apologize. That was probably too much for her to handle, considering she was so fragile. You scooted along the wall of your cabin, looking around, when suddenly..

"Hey Alik, what kind of soldier are you gonna be?"

You stopped. You looked around the corner to see someone talking with Alik. _Probably a comrade of ours_ , you thought. You noticed you had gotten quite accustomed to eavesdropping on others. Wasn't the best thing to do, of course, but you got information when you needed it. Oh how much of a coward you felt..

"I'm gonna join the Military Police." You stopped breathing for a moment. He's not..joining the Survey Corps? You didn't understand.

"But Alik, you said you were going to join the Survey Corps. Why the sudden change?"

You heard a sigh. "When certain things happen, and you begin to notice how wrong you were, you change your priorities and decide to live a better life for those around you." You knew he was talking about you. Why is he feeling guilty? Of course, you did snap on him. But you didn't want to let that dishearten him. You knew there was something you had to do. You came up with a plan.

You noticed where the perfect time it could unfold. It was simple too. You knew exactly what to do.

* * *

It was dinner time. Before this, you told Ryia that you were going to join the Military Police, and she was surprised. She asked if anything was wrong with you, and you told her t ask her again at dinner time. It was a perfect plan. You hated having to use this method, for Alik knew well how many times you used it to persuade others. But this time, it had to work. **It just had to.**

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 **Author's Note: Hey guys! Thank you for all the views! Come back for the next chapter! You will not be disappointed! Hopefully...Haha**


	6. The Plan Part 2

It was time. You wouldn't allow Alik to give up because of you. Everything was in check. The plan was ready. Your legs trembled and felt jittery as you walked over to your seat. What if it didn't work? What if you did something wrong, or it seemed you were being too forward towards something? You knew what could happen if anyone found out what you were doing. But it was so simple, no one would look into it, right? Right? You shook your head. _I shouldn't look into it too far. Just a simple talk with Ryia being a little loud should encourage some people, including Alik._ You inhaled heavily, ready.

Ryia sat down next to you as always, picking up a piece o bread and biting a small piece out of it to see if it was okay. She hated when things weren't fresh or weren't organized. The first couple days you met her, you always found her scolding guys about it, which made you laugh.

As Ryia peered at you, she said to you in a moderate voice, loud enough to be heard,"Hey [Y/N]. I thought about what you had told me about what class you were going to join. I was supposed to ask you again. Are you sure about your choice?" Perfect, you thought. You saw many people look up. You felt eyes on you. You were so nervous. You pursed your lips as you lowered your eyelids thinking.

"I... want to join the Survey Corps." You heard gasps. Ryia's eyes widened.

"But, you said you were going to join the Military Police..." You smiled. You now noticed that Alik was staring at you, occasionally looking over to his friend, the one who you overheard him talking with. "I remembered that I was going to do this for a purpose. I had a problem that could have easily discouraged me, but I decided that no matter what, I will do what I must to satisfy my family, my friends, and comrades. I won't allow myself to taint my reputation with humanity. I noticed how foolish I was when I thought that, and have now changed it." You heard murmurs of "She made such a change...", "I don't have that much courage to get killed easily..", "I can't even change my clothes that quickly", "Is she drunk? I heard that she was related to Pixis...". You looked up to see Alik again, staring. You looked away, frightened that he might have noticed what you meant.

* * *

You finished your meal. You slowly walked out of the Mess Hall, trying to make sure that you didn't fall on the stairs. You kept walking, until you heard the voice of dread. "Soldier [Y/N]!" You stopped. _Oh crap...It's Shadis. I'm dead, so dead..._ You gulped and saluted. "Sir!" Shadis eyeballed you. "I heard about what happened while I was gone! You're faintin' I see!" You broke out in a cold sweat. _Damn it...How did he hear about that?_ You regained posture. "U-uh, yessir! I apologize for my vacuous actions! I was exha-" Shadis interrupted. "Don't be apologizing! Don't act like you done stole something from somebody!" You stopped and looked confused. "Sir?" Shadis replied, "Soldier Kutoph told me all about it! She said that you had some kinda fever! You getting fevers?!" Shadis' rough and scratchy voice busted through your ears. Kutoph? Oh yeah. That's Ryia's last name. You liked how it ringed together. Ryia Kutoph... Ryia Kutoph..."Soldier!" You gained conscience. "Oh sorry sir! Yessir, I received a fever yesterday! But today I am better!" He nodded, "Good. We can't be losing our good soldiers." He walked away slowly as you pondered. _Well, Shadis does care...Right? I guess so.._

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 **Author's Note: Thank you so much for 100 views! I'm so happy and proud!**


	7. My Dreams, Back In Time, My Past?

_"Fearing the titans! Pfft,like hell I would! I can kill them all!" A strange voice of a male, yelling._

 _"Big brother, you must not be so incompetent. That's how you die easier." A calm voice of a woman slipped._

 _"Yeah. If you do that, who's going to be there to stop them all?" Another voice, also male, spoke._

 _"Well, compared to titans, we are actually pretty strong. And I can kick ass!" A female voice, different this time, yelled._

 _"I wish that they could just all die though. Our descendants will most likely be just as stupid as us. If only we could somehow-" The original male voice was now calm. He was interrupted by the first woman._

 _"No. We can't. We have already tried. It's a cycle. It will never stop. Ever. There's nothing we can do about that. I know that you wish it could change, bro. But..." The voice got cracked, and seemed like it was on the verge of crying. It continued. "But... soon, there will be someone who knows what to do, someone who will know better than us. Better than me." You heard gasps. "I know I always act like the bigger one, the smarter one, the stronger. But I don't have the heart to do what I do, and the way I do it. I...apologize to you guys."_

 _The second male voice, in a silent cry, said, "It's...okay. None of us here think that we're better than anyone. We never will. Someone might mess it up, killing us all... Someone, just maybe, could save us all from this never ending nightmare."_

* * *

You woke up. You were crying as you looked outside a window to see that it was still early. You didn't understand why you were crying, and you had forgot your dream. This was the 7th time that this happened this week. _Maybe it's important?_ You thought most likely not. You pushed off your brown blanket, absorbing the warmth before you folded it and put it on your pillow. You slowly crept around everyone, putting on your regular clothes- white pants and a long sleeved yellow shirt.

You looked over a few times at the ones in your cabin, until you passed a face. Ryia's. She was snoring lightly while slobbering on her pillow. Before you knew it, you were kneeling by her bed, wheezing at the mere cuteness you were witnessing. Her mouth was completely open, breathing softly. You started to reach for her, but you restrained yourself. _No... She's asleep right now. Maybe later.._

You went outside. The sun was peeking from the walls. Sunrise. The stars were barely still out, dark blues, purples, pinks, and oranges covering the early sky. It was warm outside, yet cool. You smirked. _It's been a long time..._ You remembered days like this, when you were younger. You would run out of the house, wind blowing in your hair, have cold sweats, the best things ever. Except, it wasn't inside the walls, of course.

* * *

As a younger person, you lived in the North, where it was always like this. There were less titans, but food was something that became scarce easily. You were used to not eating for long periods of time, like, maybe 4 days straight. When you got up, you would always kiss your mother and brother, Caine. You took a run, and always said hey to the elderly. There was a middle-aged man that you called Uncle Top, who always had bread, meat, and water for you every few days. When you ate, you would just run around, darting here and there, helping others, playing with friends like Alik... Oh. You forgot.

Alik was there with you. He would always help you do what you needed to get around. To the point of where you guys would even steal the horses sometimes. But it was not crazy to not have help. You remembered that you and Alik taught yourselves how to mount and get off a horse. You guys would ride out of the village early in the morning, avoiding the citizens there. You also remembered how you and Alik had seen a titan once, but it was dying. The sun was barely out, and it was very cold. Although it scared you guys, you both came back, with scars and all. But you and Alik forgot why and how. You remembered it like yesterday.

 _"Alik! Did you hear about the horses at the village's farm?" You pulled on Alik's sleeve._  
 _"Yeah! But we aren't allowed to get them... We'll get punished..."_  
 _"But there are 2 horses who aren't treated well in there! I wanna help them!"_  
 _"But we can't, [Y/N]. I'm sure someone will take care of them."_  
 _"Alik." He looked over to you in surprise of your stern voice. You put both of your hands on his shoulders. "I wanna help. Those horses could die without us. Please."_

 _Alik's mouth dropped wide open in complete surprise. Of course, you were never serious about anything, well barely. Doing something like this could possibly get you guys in trouble. Alik gulped and nodded. You were prepped up. That day forward, you took care of the horses. You named your female horse Agrippine, which meant wild horse, but called her Agri for short. Alik had a male horse. He named it Andrien, Andri for short, which meant warrior. For 3 weeks, you nurtured the horses back to health. They were so strong. After about a year, the horses were at their peak._

 _You and Alik finally thought it was time to ride them, considering the first time wasn't that well. You guys had been practicing for weeks now. You guys mounted on Agri and Andri. "Hya!" You guys came off to a good start. Running along the perimeter of the village, not stopping for anything. This is perfect, you thought. You were with Alik, your best friend. You guys kept going, laughing and talking every now and then. Suddenly, the horses happened. The horses suddenly turned away from the village and ran. You guys tried to keep control, using the rope to pull them back. They kept running though. You couldn't get off the horse, or you would instantly be a dead person. You and Alik looked at each other in worry as the horses ran. Farther away from the village. Farther towards the walls._

 _The horses stopped. Right in front of a 6-meter titan. It must have died, you thought. The titan's eyes were closed. Suddenly, they opened, with rage. It seemed as if it was looking for a snack. Two snacks! Alik and you got control of the horses, and turned around. Please, let us get out of here, you whispered in your mind. You looked over to Alik, and saw something you never wanted to see. He was crying. Your heart dropped. You forgot that before Alik moved to your village a while ago, there was a titan invasion at his village in the south, and he had his sister taken by titans. She wasn't eaten in front of him. When he told you, he started to cry. You felt so bad. You couldn't do anything. You had no weapons, no way to scream for someone to help. It was just you, Alik, the supposedly dead titan, and the open space of coolness._

 _Alik whispered to himself, "This was a bad idea... I knew I should have just stayed home..." You looked down at the ground in disbelief. You never wanted to hear that. You started to sob. This was all your fault. All your fault. Your fault. You screamed, "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for this to happen! I'm so helpless..." Alik stared at you for a few moments. The titan seemed to have reinforcements. A 10-meter, 5-meter, and a 3-meter titan all ran up ready to strike. This was it. This was your death. This... was all. At least, you died with someone you knew. Before the titans came close, you said to Alik, "Alik, I want you to know, that you are my best friend. Thank you." Alik mouthed words. It was in French though. You didn't know, but he said, "Je t'aime." What was that supposed to mean?_

* * *

 **Author's Note: MY GOODNESS! I HAVE BEEN PROCRASTINATING ON EVERYTHING! FIRST MY HOMEWORK, THEN MY ANIME, THEN MY MANGA, THEN MY WATCHING OF PERSONA 4 PLAYTHROUGHS, AND NOW EVEN ON MY FANFICTION! What have I been doing for the past few weeks? My gosh. I'm planning to start uploading more chapters as soon as my teachers let up on homework a little, which shouldn't be long from now. Bye my children! See ya later! (^-^)**

 **Update: I noticed that I have put down a singer in my fanfiction on accident. Some of you might have noticed, if you speak French, this should be easy. With those who know the artist, sadly, that is not her. "I have brought grief to my community. I apologize for discomforting you."- Chief Elder, The Giver**


	8. Back In Time, The Nice Titan?

**A summary of the last chapter: You are reconnecting your past. You woke up remembering something from a dream, but forgot. Now, you are being chased by titans, and was just told some strange words from Alik, your best friend. What is going to happen now?**

* * *

 _"Alik?" You were confused. What did he say? You didn't understand. Why did he say that? He knew you couldn't speak French that much. Maybe it was important…_

 _"Nothing," Alik said. "You're my best friend too. T-thank y-you. For a nice life." You saw Alik trembling as he forced an inconsolable smile._

 _"B-but…-"You stopped. It was no use talking. You both were going to die. Here. Eaten, with no one knowing that you guys left. This was a bad idea. You thought about everything in your life. Alik stopped his horse. You and your horse ran past, and then stopped. You looked back at Alik. "Alik?! Come on! We have to put up a fight to get away! We might die, but maybe… We can-"_

 _He interrupted. "Run. [Y/N], I want you to run. Those titans are sure to come after me if I go towards them."_

 _"What?! No! I won't leave you here!" Your hand gripped the rope tighter._

 _"Tell my mom, your mom, Caine, and the village that I apologize. Please, understand. Go. Now."_

 _You were crying even more now. The titans were getting closer. He yelled now._

 _"I want you to go! Now! Hurry!" The titans were only a few meters away._

 _"Alik! Please… I don't want you to die… Please…" The titans were here now. The 10 meter picked Alik up, smiling stupidly. The other titans were behind him, by about 3 kilometers. You stared, unable to move. Would you watch your best friend die like this? Would you stand up for him? You couldn't. Alik struggled in the titan's hand, looking for an opening, even if he was hopeless. "No…" You looked up towards the titan. "Please… Please!" You blacked out._

* * *

 _Now you were on the ground. The titans were gone. It was late out. Where's Alik? You looked around, to see Alik, on the ground. "Alik!" You tried to get up, but your limbs hurt. You could barely move. Your horses were still there too. Your horse Agri, went over to Alik, and nudged him. She ended up pushing him near you. You were scared now. You picked up his face, he was breathing, thank goodness. It was scarred. You got some water out of your small pouch, and poured it in his mouth. You forced him to drink it, and then let him rest. You started to cry again. What had happened? "I just want to go home…"_

 _You felt something breathe. You turned around. There was… a titan!? It… was staring at you. It didn't look as if it wanted to eat you. This was no ordinary titan either. It was like, a 25-meter titan. It was taller than most titans. It didn't look like a regular titan either. It seemed as if it knew you… This titan reached out its hand and picked you and Alik up. It picked the horses up too. You couldn't speak. The titan started to walk, slowly. It went towards the village._

 _You questioned yourself. "What is this titan doing?" Before you could do anything, the titan had set down the horses, and you guys. You had been okay. You were still hurt a little, but you could move. Alik was still asleep. The titan had gone somewhere._

 _Somehow, you miraculously got the 2 horses inside the farm without trouble, and took Alik back to his mom, when she was still alive. "Thank you, [Y/N]. You guys must have done a lot today. He looks so tired and worn out." Alik's mother knew how much you guys got hurt on a regular basis. This didn't bother her that much. "No problem. See you tomorrow, Ms. Blythe!" You knew to always be respectful. Alik's last name was Blythe. You never called out her actual name though, because you never asked about it._

* * *

 _You walked home. It was very late, but you knew your dad would be back from his work around this time, most likely, and would welcome you and comfort you. You walked inside your home. A candle was on. Dad. You went into the other room, where you could find him. He was sitting at a table, drinking water, and reading a book. He looked as if he just ran in the house. "Dad?" You asked. He looked up with mournful eyes that instantly lighted up. He smiled. "Oh, hey [Y/N]. You just came back?"_

 _You smiled and pulled a chair. "Yes sir. I was out with Alik, my friend. We did a lot today."_

 _He furrowed his eyebrows. "You don't have to be so formal. Although I am a soldier, I am also your father."_

 _He stopped and chuckled a little. "I forgot that you were practicing, right?"_

 _You pondered then shook your head yes in excitement._

 _"YEAH! I want to be a soldier like you dad!" He smiled once more, and then got serious._

 _"I'm glad you want to be a soldier, but your mom would kill me if she found out I was encouraging you. It's a serious job. I wouldn't want you to be eaten."_

 _You liked how your father never kept secrets, and always told you what was happening. There was nothing he would hesitate to tell you. You decided to ask him. "Hey dad… Was there any point where a titan was nice to you, or helped you?" Your father's eyes widened. He stared at you with uncertain eyes. They suddenly went soft again and he looked at his book. "A titan that was nice to me…? Well, there's- I can't answer that." Your heart dropped once again for the second time today. He… didn't answer? He hesitated. He…lied. He started to point towards your secret. "You went out of the village today, didn't you? You've also been taking care of those horses too, am I correct?"_

 _You looked down in shame. How did he know? He continued. "The reason why those horses weren't being taken care of was because they were runts. Twins, at that fact. The farmers here decided that they should just die on their own. They were fine by themselves. Lately, I have heard that you and Alik have been disappearing around the horse stalls. I thought you guys were doing something mischievous… But I guess I was partly right. Tell me, what happened today? I want you to be completely honest." You stayed quiet. Your father had you completely figured out. "[Y/N]? Answer me please."_

 _You gulped and told him. "Well, Alik and I-I took care of the horses… And went out of the village today to see how they were doing…" You looked at him. He was listening and nodding. "And while we were out, the horses…. Stopped. They turned away from the village and we couldn't get a hold of them…Then we saw some titans… A 3-meter, 5-meter, a 6-meter, and I think a 10-meter. We tried to run away, but a 10-meter got a hold of Alik, and I tried to do something…" Your father sighed. "And then?" You continued. "Well, I don't know. I woke up on the ground. There were no more titans. Then-"You paused. You thought that titan that helped you was…different. You decided not to speak about it. "Then I went home." He nodded._

* * *

 _You felt horrible. Your dad told you to go upstairs and wait, since he said he would tuck you in. You got into your pajamas. You were pacing around your room thinking. You were very young, and you lied about titans to your father!? Someone who knew about them better than you did! He taught you about them when you guys were alone. You didn't know if it was a bad thing or not for him to tell you._

 _You heard the door of your room open, and you ran to your bed. Your dad came in, and walked over to your bed and kneeled down by it. As he tucked you in, he said, "I appreciate you telling me the truth." You nodded. "I want you to promise me something. Make sure that you always take care of Caine and your mom. Especially when I'm not here. You asked, "You will always be here right?"_

 _Sadly, he couldn't answer. "[Y/N], one day, I won't be here. That's going to be very soon. However, you will still be here. I'm going to need you to take care of everything. I'm getting older, and every day, your mother looks more like your grandmother. "He laughed. You visited your grandmother every now and then. She was very old. "So, until that time comes, I want you to be strong for me. You understand?" You smiled and nodded once again. He put something in your hand, and kissed you on the forehead. "Good night." You said the same. He walked out of your room. You looked at your hand. It was a little necklace. It had a charm on it. It was shaped in the form of a strange transparent rock. You looked around your dark room, and then looked out the window. The rock seemed to shine in the light. You held it up to the light that you got from the moon. It glowed beautifully. "Thank you, daddy…"_

* * *

 **Author's Note: It's not what you think! Seriously! Well, maybe... Maybe not. Come back for the next chapter! (^-^)**


	9. Back In Time, Alik

**Summary of the last chapter: Your past has taken a toll on you and you are recalling all the weird things you encountered. A titan was helpful. Your father has suspicions of you. What would happen now?**

* * *

 _The next day, you awoke. You didn't understand why, but you were scared. What if Father really knew what was going on? If you told him about the titan, he could most likely get you in trouble. Or even worse, you thought, kill the titan. "What's wrong with me?" You asked yourself. You were taught that titans showed no remorse. No apologetic face. They all deserved to die, and you knew that. But, for some odd reason, you thought that titan cared. It protected you and Alik. You recalled that before you blacked out, you saw a figure, darker than the night sky. It was running towards you and Alik. You couldn't remember a thing._

 _But that wasn't what you worried about. You remembered, "Alik." He had said something in French, a language you didn't understand that much. Even if you knew plenty, you couldn't understand. Alik only said things in another language if he was under pressure, or if the feeling was strong. You knew Alik well, but not much. You didn't know his past._

 _When he came to the village, he was a quiet sort, never talking that much. You bugged him everyday when he was at his family's shop._

 _You remembered the last time, the 50th time, you did that like it was yesterday. You ran in while Alik was reading a book._

* * *

 ** _The Past Of The Past_**

 _"Alik! Come on outside! Let's play!" You were always eager to play with other children your age.  
"I...don't know you that well. I just want to stay here, and read. Please leave me alone."  
"But, don't you play? All children like to play."  
"Listen." He closed his book. "You may have all the best things in the world, but not me. It's cold outside, and warm in here. I don't like playing. It's only for those who lived a great life, with no faults or flaws. I hate those people now. I lived in a world full of them. Playing this, playing that, it's only for children. Just children."_

 _You stopped. You were hurt. Did he really think of you as a bad person? A child... You didn't have much of a bad life. Sure, you got in trouble every now and then, sometimes broke the rules, stole bread from that old man's store, but you never heard anything like that. Alik stared at you with more coldness than the winter up in the North here. You stayed quiet, and ran out. You didn't know how to feel about this. You heard three people gasp from behind you, but you didn't care who it was. You just wanted to go._

 _You ran and ran. As far as your legs would allow. You looked for something, anything to tell you why. Just why did he say that? Why would such a child, like you, say that? You found a hill near an abandoned shop, and sat down. You started to cry. It was all you wanted to do._

 _After a few hours of thinking and crying, it started to get late. You didn't feel like going home, and your mom asking why your eyes were red. You just wanted to stay here, in the cold, white sheets that covered the earth. You sprawled yourself out, looking up at the sky, the sun, the clear sky, disappearing behind trees and colors. Why were you here, again? Oh yeah. You wanted to stay here. "Maybe if I could just see, what its like, maybe..." You grabbed some snow and threw it on your face. It was random, but you wanted it this way. Being weird like this was great. It was being alone... "Did Alik feel this way?" you thought. "Is this why Alik wanted to be alone?" You guessed so... It was getting colder outside. You shivered. Should you go home? No, you thought. Just staying here, would be better. Your eyes started closing slowly. I'm tired... I'll wake up soon..._

* * *

 _You heard voices. Your mouth felt dry. Where were you? In a dim-lighted room, you laid there on a bed. The door was closed, no one was there. You were covered with layers of covers. You sat up. Your face was frozen, and you kept sneezing quietly. You found some food by your bed. You chewed on some meat softly as you listened to the voices on the other side of the door._

 _"What happened, ?" You heard your father's voice.  
"I was just about to run out to go for an errand, when I heard Alik saying something to her. She ran out, but I thought it wasn't that much of a deal, so I went on with my day. After getting my errands, one of them fell down this hill. I found her laying there, unconscious and shivering cold."  
You heard your father sigh. "Do you know what he said?"  
You heard silence. She probably shook her head no.  
She mumbled, __"I'm sorry. Alik is ...how you say... no longer... compassionate. It's not that he doesn't care for others, it's just that he is having some problems. Ever since the titan invasion in the South, Alik hasn't been the same. He's no longer that jittery happy child that I loved. His sister was taken by titans, presumably eaten, and Alik saw that happen. Your daughter has the same...perspective of her. That must have startled him. I'm so sorry for this."_

 _By this time, you had finished eating. You heard more footsteps. They were very light, and familiar, walking at a slow pace. Alik. You pushed the warm blankets off of you, embracing the light chill in the room. You sat up on the bed, more eager to hear. Your legs were so frozen, that you ended up putting the blankets on them._

 _"Alik! What is wrong with you?!" You heard , and raging footsteps over to where you heard Alik.  
_ _"Ouch. Mom, you're pulling on my cheek very hard."  
_ _"I know I am! You should be sorry!" After that, you heard Alik.  
_ _"It's not my fault she tried to be my friend! I told her to leave me alone! Everyone blames me for someone else's problem!"_

 _Then you heard running. You gasped and ran out the door. The door busted open, and you saw your father and Ms. Blythe, frozen. You paid them no attention and ran after Alik. "Alik!" You yelled. He kept running, through a hallway. You found a opening in the hallway, and ended up in the shop of Alik's family. Where could he have gone? You went outside. It was very late. It was dark, only the moon and the stars lighting your way. Alik...Alik! You saw footsteps in the deep snow. You followed it. Alik... Why would you do this? We could've been friends, you thought._

 _You saw the footsteps lead to behind a building. As you turned, you saw Alik, sitting there, holding his legs and burying his face in his shirt. You walked up to him. He looked up with a mean look and said, "What do you want?" Before you could answer, he said, "Stay away from me." You shook your head, and inhaled. You weren't going to be hurt this time._

* * *

 ** _Alik's POV_**

 _I never asked to leave the South. I never asked to go up North. When titans invaded our small village, Lebte, we had to flee. My sister, Alexis, was taken by titans. Her last words to me were, "Be strong, Alik." I never knew what she meant by that. My mom forced us to live up here, to live in my late grandmother's shop. "It might give us meaning," Mom told me when we came up here. "Before you know it, this will all be behind us. We can live anew. And maybe you can even make some more friends." I didn't want to go up North. The other villagers went inside the walls. My friends too. I didn't deserve this. Mom said that it would be more trouble for the government if we went inside the walls. Whatever. She never understood me. No one did._

 _That was until I met that girl._

 _When I came into this village, I used to look out a window sitting in a chair, and watch the village children play. That's when I saw her. She smiled as if the world was a great place. She shined above them all. Although she looked hungry, although she looked tired, she smiled. She was taking care of them, each and every one. When one of them started to cry, she gave them her food. She patted them all and kissed their foreheads like they were her own children. I was so jealous. How could she be so happy? I decided that I would never speak to her.  
"Hey [Y/N], is there any more food?" One of the minors spoke to her.  
"Oh no! We ran out! I'll have to get some more." She pulled some coins out of her pocket. Why would she pay for it herself? That's only enough to get some food at our shop... Oh no. _

_I looked around. I was the only one in the shop. I didn't want to see her! I grabbed a book, and started reading. It was a recipe book, but who cared? I didn't want her to talk with me. I was weird right? But then I heard more conversation._

 _"I will get it! For you, [Y/N]! You stay here!" One of those kids grabbed the coins and ran over to the shop. When they walked in, they saw me. I was relaxed that she didn't come in, but I was...angry. "What do you want?" Words spilled out of my mouth. What did I just say? The child ran out,back to the others and said, "The boy in there is scary! He's a freak! And mean..." That hurt. It hurt a lot. This is why I didn't want to be here. I would be called a freak. And that's all. I just wanted to go. To stay away. To be gone. I was just about to get up and leave, she came in._

 _She was much more beautiful in person. Her eyes, hair, and skin shined like the sun itself. She looked very cold, but still smiled. She looked over to me and waved. I was frozen. I didn't have nothing to do, so I shoved the book in my face. She walked over to me slowly, looking at everything in the shop, interested. She tapped me and I flinched. I really couldn't say anything. Be cool, Alik, I thought to myself. Just a simple "Here you go" and "Goodbye" should do it._

 _She finally said something. "Hey there. Can I get some bread and meat please?" Her voice was as soft as clouds. I never have touched clouds, but clouds looked more soft than anything I ever heard.  
I didn't know how to reply. I said, "Yeah whatever, It's over there." I pointed over to where they were located. She ran over and got some. Such a little amount.  
_ _She walked back over to me and handed me some coins. "Here you go." I scoffed. She was just being too nice. I took the coins from her forcefully, and stuffed my face into the book. "Have a good day." I said. My mom always said to say that to costumers, even ones who I resent. I started to relax more. When I thought she was gone, I looked up. She was still there!? It's been like 5 minutes! She was staring at me, why? She seemed amazed, at what though?_

 _"What do you want? I thought you were gone." I closed my book to scold her.  
She wasn't discouraged though. "What is your name? My name is [Y/N]." She put her hand out, for a handshake.  
She- a girl that I wanted nothing to do with- was trying to create conversation with me? I sighed. Fine. I would play this game. Next then you know shes going to call me a freak.  
I replied, "Alik. Now what do you want?" I took her hand and shook it.  
She smiled once again. "I saw you in here many times before. I didn't know how to approach you, so I thought this would be a good time to ask you if you wanted to play with us."  
I couldn't say a single word. What kind of sorcery was this? It was so strange. I said, "No. I don't want to. Now please get out." I opened my book and started reading. _

_When I looked up again, she was gone. She was outside now, talking, laughing, playing. I really didn't want her to go. Some part of me wanted her to stay, to be there a little longer. Pfft. She wouldn't want to stay with me. But I had bigger problems. Not really much of a problem._

 _Beef stew. The best thing ever. My mom had made some for me, and I liked mines chilled. I got the bowl, and a spoon. I got my portion, and some bread. I couldn't help being so happy. It was the only thing I understood in this strange place. I started eating. It was still warm, but I didn't mind. Then she came into my mind again. The warmth of her hand in the coldness. For some odd reason, I wanted to feel it again. That warmth. It reminded me of Alexis. She would always take my hand and we would run around in the village. I wanted that. But, of course, I couldn't have it._

 _Mom finally came home from her errands, and it was very late. She came in the shop, tired as always. She looked at me in a weird way, probably curious as to why I was reading a book about foods. She walked towards the window and knelt down, and gave me a kiss on the forehead. "Hello to you too, Alik. I missed you." I stayed quiet. That's the kind of child I have become I guess, but I nodded so she knew I had acknowledged her. But I remembered. Maybe... "Hey mommy... Can I hold your hand?" It's been a long time since I called her mommy and asked her that. She asked, "Not that I mind, but why?" I didn't feel like answering that question. I just held out my hand._

 _Mom sighed,"I can't win with you, can I?" I nodded. She took my hand and held it. It...was warm. But not as warm as her's. I slowly retracted my hand, and Mom frowned. She got up, and walked towards the food closet with her errands. I decided to go outside for a bit. I opened the window, and jumped out. The window was right near the ground, so I would be fine. I walked around in the dark night._

 _I saw her again. She was sitting down, looking up at the stars on a hill. What do I do, I thought. Should I say something, I asked myself. As I pondered this, before I knew it she was there, in front of me._

 _"Hey Alik. I didn't know you were out here. We could've played!" She was perky.  
"Tch. Whatever. I just came out here because I was bored."  
She laughed. "Well that's nice. That means we can play together...right?"  
God dang it she was too cute. I felt my whole face sprinkle warmth on my face after she said that. She must have noticed I was blushing.  
"Alik, are you okay? Do you have a fever?" I really couldn't answer. I swallowed the lump in my neck.  
"Whatever. I'm fine. Just leave me alone." She laughed._

* * *

 _Ever since that day, I had liked her. I couldn't bring myself to be her friend. Everyday, I became more rude to her. She was so encouraged to become my friend. Until I called her a complete child. She ran away. With sadness. In all those days of me knowing her, I have never seen her more hurt._

 _I ran away from her too. I told her to leave me alone again. She walked away. Like always. This time, she wouldn't come back._

 _But she did._

 _She walked back, in the cold, with some things. The cold was paralyzing her, but she didn't care. She kept moving forward. I was...amazed. She had... a bowl? It had...beef stew! She sat down beside me, the snow freezing her eyelashes. She smiled at me. The same exact smile I seen when I first met her. That warm smile. She gave the bowl to me. "I'm sorry I'm not a good friend. I didn't consider your feelings, and I should've asked you." I was speechless. That day, was the day I became best friends with her. But since that day, I didn't like her, I **loved** her. But I could never tell her my feelings. I became more open with her, and we always shared. I found out about her life and she found out about mine. But I could never tell her._

 _When she asked me to help her take care of the horses with her, I thought about it as a family. Yeah. A family. Sure it's creepy to think that way, but I didn't care. And then, when we came towards those titans and were in sudden death, I told her in French what I had wanted to tell her from the beginning. "Je t'aime." But she didn't understand. I would tell her later. I loved her, and that is how I felt._

* * *

 **Author's Note: THIS TOOK LIKE 3 DAYS TO DO OH MY GOD I HAVE LOST BRAIN CELLS OVER THIS SOMEONE HELP ME! I feel that these "Back IN Time" chapters are giving more of a feel to the story. There should be at least 3 more chapters on the past of less. Love you my children! (^-^)**


	10. Back In Time, Cherishing This Moment

**Summary Of Last Chapter: You have seen the past of the past, to where you first met Alik, and we have seen his perspective on things.**

* * *

 ** _The Original Past_**

 _You were outside now, trotting towards Alik's house. You were so worried, considering you both were close to being eaten. You couldn't help it, and you needed to ask him what he meant. When you got there, Ms. Blythe was in the shop, as always, putting things up. She turned around and gave you a smile._

 _"Good morning, [Y/N]. How are you?" Her voice hummed.  
"Good morning Ms. Blythe. I'm great."  
"That's nice. I presume you want to see Alik?" Her head bobbed in a pleasant manner.  
"Yes ma'am. I have a question to ask him about something he said to me yesterday, although it was in French."  
Ms. Blythe frowned a little. "I can help you with that. Would you like a translation?"  
You nodded in excitement and recalled what he said. "Alik said something like, "Je t'aime."  
Ms. Blythe froze for a moment, then chuckled a little. You tilted your head in confusion.  
When she noticed you, she smiled again. "I think you should ask Alik that himself. But what I will tell you is that it's important, if he means it. It's... a special moment, and you should cherish it."  
You were still confused. She continued. "If you care for Alik like family, you should tell him you feel the same way. To be completely honest, I knew he felt that way for a long time now. I think you do too." You think you understood. You went to the back room, where Alik was resting._

 _You opened the door, even though you should've knocked first. Alik was in there, looking up at the ceiling. He was absolutely covered in 13 blankets, you counted. You could only see his blue eyes, shifting. When he saw you come in, his face went red. You didn't know why._

 _"Alik! Thank goodness you're okay!" You ran over to his bed and knelt by it.  
"Hey! Why didn't you knock first!? I wasn't ready..." You did not understand.  
"Why so sheepish, Alik?" You nudged him.  
"That's because I don't have a shirt on and I'm sick you fool!" His face was completely red now.  
"I don't mind. Plus, there is nothing wrong with that right? Now c'mon and give me a hug!"  
Alik tried to say no but you ended up tugging his blankets off and gave him a hug. Before you knew it, you felt his bare skin up up against your face. He was so warm, and was also sweating. Poor thing. His mother must have been worried, and put all these blankets on him._

 _"Ms. Blythe must have given you hot beef stew right?" You still held him, but had fear that you would get sick.  
Alik dreaded when you were right. "She forced me to... It was too warm..." He shivered. He never liked hot stew.  
"It's fine... I'm here." You decided to baby him, like you always did when he was sick. He gave up one day to resist it.  
"I can barely remember what happened yesterday... We ran into titans, then we ran away..."  
You almost forgot, except that one thing. "You also said 'Je t'aime.' Your mom told me what it meant too."  
Alik turned red again. "S-she d-did?" You nodded.  
"W-what do y-you think about it?" He looked so embarrassed as you pulled him away.  
"Well, your mom told me it was something that you would say to someone you thought of as family, someone you cared about. Right?'  
Alik stared at you. "Kind of, yeah..."  
"Well, since you care about me, I care about you. So..." You grabbed his arms and exclaimed, "Je t'aime!"  
_

* * *

 _ **Alik's POV**_

 _"Je t'aime!" Those words were words I have always wanted to hear from her. She told me she loved me. However, it wasn't in the way I expected. She thought that it meant I cared for her. And I do, but still, it wasn't how I expected. She looked at me in the greatest way. I couldn't help but smile. So I told her, "Je t'aime tant."  
_

 _"What does that mean?" She asked.  
"It's a better meaning of that. It's a stronger meaning."  
She pondered for a moment, then said, "Je t'aime tant." She was more serious this time.  
_

 _I felt like a rusty trench. She doesn't even know what she is saying, and she is saying it with meaning. I was happy though. Too happy.  
_

 _"Hey Alik..." Her voice was very soft, and close.  
"Uhh yeah?"  
"When are you going to stop hugging me? Not that I mind, but it's been about 5 minutes."_

 _What!? I came back to reality, noticing that I had been hugging her. Oh crap! I backed away from her and we sat in silence. She then asked me about yesterday. I couldn't remember anything. The titan's squeeze on me had made me faint, but somehow, we got home safe. I decided not to ask. Probably someone saved us._

 _But whatever. I wanted to enjoy this moment with her. No matter how embarrassed I was, considering that my mom knows who I love now, I would still love her. Even if something would interrupt this moment, I could cherish it._

 _That was until the titans came._

* * *

 **Author's Note: Thank you guys for all the views! It's getting intimate here, no? I might end up put another chapter soon depending on my boredom.**

 **Update: The well my brain went faster than my fingers, ONCE AGAIN. I had to edit it. AGAIN**


	11. Back In Time, Feelings and Titans Attack

_**Summary of the last chapter: Alik has confessed to care for you, as you have thought. In Alik's perspective, he loves you and cherishes this moment with you.**_

* * *

 _ **Author's Note: And yet I lose more brain cells... Hehe it's fine I'm not losing any...maybe.(orz) The views I got a couple days ago were awesome! 79 views in one day!? You guys are just perfect, beautiful human beings. Tearssss to my eyessss I can't believe I finally got it in, you know, schoolwork and all are all over me.**_

 _ **On another note, the Back In Time chapters are coming to a close. After about 2 or 3 more chapters, I infer, we may get on with our actual lives. If you need a refresher, refer back to chapter 7 so that you know where we are. Bye children!**_

 _ **Ane= A big sister**_

* * *

 _ **Alik's POV**_

 _Boom. Boom. Boom. Titans._

 _Those were the last sounds I wanted to hear. Screams were heard outside. Mom burst through the door, with sadness and horror in her eyes._

 _"What's wrong, Ms. Blythe?" [Y/N] asked this. I wish she wouldn't be so oblivious when it came to things like this.  
I entered the conversation. "We should get going. Are there any soldiers coming?" My mom's reply was no. No soldiers... What do we do now? I looked over at [Y/N]. She knew what was happening._

 _She ran out, calling, "Mom! Dad! Caine!" I ran after her, after putting on my shirt of course.. Her father would of course help, but he could be out at this time. My mom warned us to be careful as she prepared for everything. When we both went outside, the whole village was in a uproar._

 _"We're all going to die! The titans will eat us!"  
"I knew I should've stayed in the walls!"_

 _I looked over at [Y/N]. She shook her head in determination. "[Y/N]?" She took my hand, and she dragged me towards her house. I have never seen her run that fast. When we arrived, we saw Ms. Dana, her mom, and Caine, with his innocence. Ms. Dana looked terrified._

 _"[Y/N]-ane..." Caine ran up to her and hugged her. He must have known what was happening. He looked at me with those same eyes like [Y/N]. I felt bad. There wasn't anything I could do._

 _"We should get going," I said. I didn't want us to feel as if there was no hope. There wasn't much to do, other than get horses, belongings, and courage. Courage. The one thing I could never get. But it was essential. Then, I heard. What I heard, were horses, with people on them. Making plans, executing them, with a lot of presence. Who? I looked over towards the noises. "The...Survey Corps..." They seemed to really enjoy the idea of killing titans, from what I heard. How was I supposed to know anyway? I was only at a "low" teenager age at that time._

 _In that crowd of soldiers, I saw the commander. He had blonde hair like me, only he was much taller and wider than most of his comrades. He seemed young, and new to things like this, but had an experienced aura. He came up next to us, and gave orders to others to evacuate the citizens. They all followed him so well. Before I knew it, he was in front of me and [Y/N]._

 _"Hello there. I apologize for the wait. We have to hurry out of here." His cold blue eyes stared me down. Who was this man? I couldn't ask, maybe I should just be qu-  
"Sir, who are you?" Dang it. Of course she would say it. Everyone stays quiet but her.  
"[Y/N]!" I yelled her name. She looked at me, clueless.  
"It's quite alright. My name is Erwin Smith, commander of the Scouting Legion. And yours?" This man, how could he be so calm at a time like this?  
I answered. "My name is Alik Blythe. This is my friend, [Y/N] [L/N]. Are we going to be safe?" I got right down to the chase.  
Erwin lowered his eyes and chuckled softly. "Well aren't you a negotiator. I assure you no harm to you will be caused. The important thing is that you get ready." What?  
_

 _I nodded. I couldn't say no anyway, this man looked like he could crush me. The commander nodded back and turned on his heel to walk away. He called more men to his side, giving more orders to help citizens. They all did this silly salute, and ran off. I chuckled a little, and so did [Y/N]. Then she took it to the next level. She ran off to one of the soldiers, and asked about the salute. The soldier turned, "Hmm?" And then she saluted. [Y/N] saluted. She really SALUTED._

 _The soldier smirked. "You wanna be with the Survey Corps too!? You should join!" I noticed this soldier was a woman with a ponytail, glasses, and a perky aura.  
[Y/N] replied, "I wanna join! I want to learn about titans! I have so many questions!" Child.  
The woman soldier looked like she was about to burst and go on a rampage. "TITANS!? YOU WANT TO LEARN ABOUT THEM TOO!? You are at such an age where you can join me!"_

 _This amazed me. The soldier went on and on about titans, how cute they were, how much she adored them, how much she researched them. The soldier told [Y/N] to join... I have never been so scared from a distance. Then, I saw the Commander come along. While this woman was pressuring poor old [Y/N], Erwin put his hand on the soldier's shoulder. "Hanji, let's get a move on." Hanji? I guess I will keep a lookout on that name. I stepped in. "Let's go [Y/N]."As Hanji was being pulled away, she looked back and smiled at us. Dang it, now she knows who I am._

 _[Y/N] and I went back to our homes, to gather our stuff. Mom and I were ready, so I went to check on [Y/N]. When I found her in her room, she was rummaging around her stuff, crying and whispering, "My necklace...dad's necklace.." Her necklace? Her dad's necklace? I put my stuff down and started to look around. For a necklace, anything. I didn't want to see her crying. I knelt down looking under her bed._

 _"Alik?" She must have not even noticed I was in here. I stopped for a moment, and then just kept looking. [Y/N] put her hand on my shoulder, just like when I first met her.  
_ _"Alik." That really sent shivers up and down my spine. I turned around to see her, close. If I was to estimate how far away she was away from me, it would be about 5 centimeters. Tears were still running down her face.I fell down because it startled me. And here I was, sitting down, staring at her crying red eyes. I tried to say something.  
"That necklace must have meant a lot to you, right? I was going to try and help you find it. It's fine I'll-"  
She interrupted and repeated. "Alik." She was trying to bring herself to say something. But what exactly?_

 _She put her hands on my shoulders. "Alik. Alik...Alik!" She kept repeating my name, crying more and more. What was wrong? What was so wrong?_

* * *

 ** _Your POV_**

 _You lost it. You had lost the necklace, the so important necklace that your father had given to you. Now you couldn't find it. You couldn't recall your father. You were losing him. You were forgetting his name, everything. All you had was Alik. "Alik. Alik...Alik!" You repeated while crying, unable to stop, unable to tell him. You wanted to tell him what was going on. You never told Alik. Your heart hurt, it hurt oh so bad. You wanted to say something, you wanted Alik to know how you felt. Alik was looking at you, speechless and jaw dropped._

 _"Alik, I..." Your words trailed off.  
Alik's eye widened. "Hey, what's wrong?" He was obviously concerned, however, you couldn't say anything. You buried your face in his chest. "A-Alik..."_

Warm hands that belonged to Alik embraced you. You just wanted this to be your moment, your moment with Alik. You continued crying. How could such a happy day turn into something like this? You were wasting time. Time to live.

 _"[Y/N]? We should keep looking. The titans are not too far away."  
You sat up and looked at Alik. "Alik, I-"_


	12. Back In Time, Alik's Real Past

**Summary: Titans have invaded, and you met the new commander, Erwin Smith, and his perky comrade Hanji Zoe. Alik and you decided to get ready for the future ahead of you, but in the process, you lose your necklace, and remember a feeling, different from anything you have ever felt.**

 **Authoring Note: I have been so out of wack, it's like I cannot find anytime to do anything! Just iresfjkjkfnfiodjwicxewjcenrekjn here and a dab of ncvnvejanekmrjcnekjvckjrfnjnf there. But here its like: "Hello my poppets. Cheery'o to the young gentlemen in the black and white tuxedo, and Margaret would you mind getting me a glass of Caposaldo Sparkling Sweet Moscato? I'm very parched." I'm trying my best to update as much as I can, my apologies!**

* * *

 _ **Alik's POV**_

 _Here [Y/N] was, crying, buried in my arms. I told her it would be fine, but it seemed that wasn't the case. She sat up, looking at me. It scared me, how much of a mess she was. No she wasn't a mess, she was beautiful, and it made my mind go crazy. Gosh dang it what did I just think? "Alik I-" She was trying to find the words. Just as she was trying to explain herself, the door slammed open._

 _[Y/N] scurried off the bed away from me and went to her pile where she originally was. Great timing, whoever decided to burst in. As the door creaked towards the wall of the room, I saw a tall familiar man._

 _"F-father..." [Y/N] ran up to Pontus, her father.  
"[Y/N], I'm sorry I left. I had things to do. Everything is fine now. There are horses enough for everyone, and your mom and Caine are waiting for us. You too, Alik." He looked up at me with his piercing greenish-brown eyes. It scared me. His eyes were soft and compassionate for [Y/N], but with me, it was more angry than neutral. Did I do something wrong?_

 _[Y/N] shook her head at her father and I's staring moment. She took out a bag...the bag I made for her. A few days after she became my friend, I made it myself, knitted it with handmade yarn, and wove some straw into it to make a design. It was a brownish kind of bag. For us younger children, it was pretty big. It could take plenty of stuff in it, enough to move and fit on a horse. It looked the exact same way when I gave it to her. I thought she had thrown it away, but knowing her, probably not. She put her stuff in it swiftly and walked out. I decided to follow her, when I felt a strong tug on my shoulder. Her father._

 _"Alik. I need to ask you something." His deep voice rung through my ears. I am so done. I won't be eaten by titans, it will be Pontus to kill me.  
"Y-yes sir?" I didn't turn around to look at him, I was so afraid. Then, I felt my shoulders shift my legs and my body around to him by heavy hands.  
"What happened yesterday, when you and my daughter [Y/N] went outside of the village?" Wait...how did he know that?  
"Uhh...ummm..." I looked up at him. He wasn't going to let me go. I sighed. "We rode our horses outside and found titans. Then I was caught by one and..." I remembered something. It had just clicked in my mind.  
"Then what?" Pontus asked.  
"I heard something...Or someone say "Please...Please..I want another chance. I think it was someone I knew, but I can't remember because I blacked out."  
Pontus nodded. "That's all I need to know. I also have another request."  
Man, this dude had some questions and requests. "Yeah?"  
"Take care of my daughter for me. Watch over her, protect her, defend her Alik. I trust you."_

 _I was literally amazed. Take care of her? Watch her, protect her, defend her? Of course I would take that any day if I was required, but I noticed another thing before saying yes. "Think before you speak and agree to something you will regret..." My mom always told me. Did [Y/N] tell her father about this? It was our secret, and she promised to never let anyone know. Heck, she was the one who created the promise._

 _"Did [Y/N] tell you about the horses and titans?" My curious self decided to ask.  
"Hmm? Oh, yes indeed she did." This man was honest. Very honest. Only [Y/N] knew about all of this. I felt...angry. I felt betrayed that she would say that. She never broke a promise, well with me at least. _

_There was someone else she would never lie to. Her father. My hands tightened into a fist as my teeth gritted. What was this feeling I felt? I never have felt it against [Y/N]. It was the all known, anger. I heard a someone clearing their throat. I noticed my eyes had shifted to another direction. Pontus was staring at me. I shook my head._

 _"I guess I can protect her..And keep her safe for a while..." I secretly wished that Pontus was bluffing and testing my true love for [Y/N]. I loved her, but I could never admit that to her father. Her father didn't bluff much, so he would have probably made sure of it that we got married. Not that I mind...but wait that is so off topic! I shook it off once more._

 _"You guess? For a little while? Hmm... I see." Silence shivered through the air for what had seemed a long time. "You must see the sea, Alik." He muttered.  
"What?" What was the sea? I heard it was a huge beautiful body of water, but I never believed it. I never thought it was something real._

 _Pontus shook his head. "Never mind. I'm counting on you Alik. Do not let me down." Pontus began to walk away. Something seemed off with him. I knew him pretty well, and I knew that tone of his only came along if a expedition was starting, when many people were on the verge of dying. Or when he knew could die. Was he about to die? Did he die? I let him leave that room, without another word. Still, did he know what was going on? He seemed more educated on this topic. Whatever._

 _Boom. Boom._

 _Titans. I got my bag and ran out of the room. My fingers tightened around the damaged strap. My legs transferred back and forth, not wanting to stop. Before I knew it, my thighs started to ache. Every breath I had ran out of my mouth, heavily contrasting against the air. I was out of the house, near the brim of the village. That is when I came back to reality. Reality of terror and turmoil._

* * *

 ** _Alik's Past_**

 _Screaming. Mourning. Crying. Running. Words ran through my mind, suffocating my lungs, which were screaming for air. My vision was hazy, for all the time I ran. I looked up to see where I was heading. But my eyes met with a titan. It looked happy to see me. No. No no no please no. I began to run faster._

 _I was going to die, alone. And no one would care._

 _"Alik! COME HERE!" A familiar defiant voice screamed. I turned to look to my side. Alexis. Her hands were reached out towards me, as she rode a horse, shifting her eyes to the front, then back to me. Her shiny blonde hair blew in her face._

 _"ALIK! Hurry and grab my hand!" Alexis was at her peak of yelling. I grabbed her hand and tightened my grip, then Alexis pulled with all her strength, almost breaking my shoulder bone. I swung around her arm onto the back of the horse._

 _"HIYYAAH!" Alexis sped up the horse. The horse neighed with fury and ran faster. I held onto my sister for dear life as the titan's roars got quieter, and quieter._

 _My sister and I stopped around the perimeter of the village, panting and sweating._

 _"Whew, that was close... And it was one of those crazier kind of titans..." Alexis took a big swig of water, and gulped.  
"Aberrants," I murmured as she passed me the flask of water. "And it was close.."  
"Yeah whatever, Aberrants, Abnormals, Crazy- they are all the same type of titan."_

 _"But- never mind." There was no arguing with her, she technically **was** right. "What happened to Mom?" I took a drink of water.  
"She's fine. She is actually helping all of the village get together their belongings and stuff like that."  
I froze, then panicked. "WAIT WHAT!? MOM CAN NOT DO THAT!" I started to pace back and forth. I never knew anything about this.  
"Calm down, Alik. She will be fine."  
"HOW?! SHE COULD BE EATEN!" Mom was never the kind of type to do things like that. My voice was louder.  
"Calm your nips, Alik." Alexis slapped me on my head. Ouch that hurt. "Mom knows how to do this stuff, she was a soldier, after all."  
"Huh? Mom was a soldier?" Mom was born in the walls, and she knew about this stuff, but she moved out here, and married my father, who worked with her, presuming being her comrade. Alexis and I never really talked to him, but all mom told me was that he died 2 years after I was born. I never really saw him, so he must have still been with the soldiers and been eaten, considering mom didn't want to talk about it._

 _"Well, I guess we should help her too.." I stared off into the distance.  
"We should meet up with them. But we have to go through the village. Or ride around the perimeter."  
I nodded. "It's fine. Let's get going. The village would be better. The titans would not be in the middle of the village, and they would take at least 10 minutes to be completely able to demolish the village."  
Alexis was in awe. "My lord... You can figure all that out just by thinking?"  
I nodded. She continued. "You should join the Scouting Legion...I'm sure they will want you. That is amazing talent."  
I shook my head."I do not want to waste my talent on something so meaningless. Besides, I want to stay here with you guys." I smiled at her. And she smiled back. _

_But little did I know, that would be the last smile I would ever see from her._

* * *

 **Note:This chapter was a little longer than I expected...I have to get some inspiration to keep this going..**


	13. Back In Time, A New Person?

**So... I got more inspiration. One of my dear friends, Xander, moved away. So I decided to put feeling of encouragement and farewell into writing, since he has encouraged me to continue writing.**

* * *

 _ **Alik's Past**_

 _Alexis and I set out as soon as possible. We decided that I would ride on the back of the horse, since I was the "brains" and was required to point out if there were any titans. She loved horses, so I backed down. Before we went, I noticed something was wrong with Alexis._

 _"Alexis?" I asked.  
"Hmm?" She replied without looking back at me.  
"What's wrong?" I tugged at her shirt lightly.  
She was completely silent for a few moments, then she answered my question with a question. "Have you ever thought that you were so close to death that you could practically taste it?"  
I froze. What did she mean?  
"I'm sorry," She sighed, "I am just out of it today. I'm sorry. Let's get going."  
Alexis hesitated before tugging on the horse's rope. "Hiya!" We started to get going. Alexis was more quiet than usual, and I did not want to say a word, so I decided to keep silent._

* * *

 _We we're inside the village now. The village was quiet and desolate, as if no one had been there in the first place. Alexis seemed more frantic. The horse, of course, seemed tired, but Alexis wasn't giving up. She breathed in heavily. "Alexis... I think you should probably slow down..." Silence. "Alexis, are you okay?" More silence. "I'm fine. Just fine." Her shaky voice left me in uncertainty._

 _Boom. Boom. The sound of fear. Alexis started to shake. Alexis sped up the horse. We were almost about to turn a corner when- "LOOK OUT ALEXIS!" Alexis stopped the horse and it's hoofs skidded across the ground. A huge bare foot appeared, only 1 meter away. Alexis and I looked up slowly, to see the dark, ringed eyes of a terrifying titan. It's horrible existence froze Alexis. "ALEXIS!" I shook Alexis, trying to wake her conscience. She wouldn't even budge._

 _The titan stared at us, probably a Aberrant titan. I pushed Alexis off the horse and into an alley. The horse followed us. I shook her some more. "Alexis snap out of it!" Alexis put her face into her hands. "I-I can't do this... I'm not strong..." I stared at her in disbelief, and did something I thought I would never do._

 _SLAP! Alexis stared at me with wide sapphire eyes. She touched her red cheek. "You...slapped me..." She whispered. I decided to scold her. "This is not the time to get sappy! You wanna see Mom again, right!? You wanna see everyone else?! Then get your butt on this horse so we can get out of here!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, that anyone was bound to hear me. Alexis, crying, shook her head and nodded._

 _We got back on the horse, this time I was in front. Alexis was too fear-stricken to move. "I-I'm sorry..." She mumbled. I nodded. I tried to stay quiet._

 _"Alik?"  
"Yes, Alexis?"  
"Can I ask a favor of you?"  
"Uhh sure."  
"You know, you mean a lot to me and mom. You know that right?"  
"I guess."  
"So... In case I die.. I-"  
"Don't say anything like-"  
"Let me finish, Alik."  
I gulped.  
"I am only going to tell you this once. Listen closely."  
"Okay."  
"Stay strong, Alik, stay strong."_

* * *

 _ **The Original Past- Alik POV**_

 _It hurts to think about it. I ran to a horse, next to [Y/N] and her father. "Where's mom?" I asked. Pontus said, "I think she is helping others. She should be on a horse by now." I trusted Pontus enough. My mom would be back, very soon. I looked over the villagers with horses, and saw my mom smiling among them. She must have knew I would be here. I saw Erwin, Hanji, and this short black-haired child with a Survey Corps cloak at the front on horses. Why would a child be at the front? They all started off towards the walls, our future. We all followed, the soldier leading us. I couldn't believe it. **I would see my alternative future.**_

* * *

 _We made it to the walls, barely. Before I knew it, half of our small village dispersed to their families from inside of the walls, except [Y/N]'s family, mine, and a few others who told the soldiers about where their families were. Erwin walked up to Pontus, and began conversing. My mom somehow shimmied up to Erwin as well and talked with him. In the end, [Y/N], Dana, Caine, and Pontus all had a home to be in. My mom and I got a home that was about 15 houses away. That wasn't a lot, considering [Y/N] and I ran everyday. This was a lot to take in, but I knew I would get through this with [Y/N]._

 _I decided to go check on her. I ran towards her house, not willing to stop and say hello or good evening. That was until I saw something. [Y/N] was talking to a guy. A guy that looked interested in her, glowing at her every movement. He **liked** her?_

* * *

 **I feel really bad making this story ALL about Alik at this point, considering he is an character that really does not concern anyone else, and the main character. And I keep saying one more chapter, but it seems that I cannot stop talking about the past. My deepest apologies. THIS IS IT! I AM NOT DOING ANYMORE BACK IN TIME CHAPTERS!**


	14. This Time, Eating?

**FINALLY. FINNAALLLLYYYYYY. WE ARE NOW IN THE PRESENT. LOOK AT CHAPTER 7 IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS. I am more happy than you think. It took me so much to do this.**

 **I have been trying to introduce the characters, and so far we have Shadis, Erwin, Hanji, a little bit of Levi, Pixis has been mentioned, and that's all. Can I get a internet hug or something?**

* * *

 **The Present**

You decided to get going. You took off your shirt, revealing a tank. As you stretched, you felt the cool air, blowing against your face and arms. It tickled your armpits, no matter how abnormal it sounded.

After 5 minutes of stretching, you started to take wide strides, then sped them up. Before you knew it, you were running. Your desperate breath contrasted against the air. As you ran around the camp, you noticed a quick shadow, moving around you. You stopped for a moment checking your surroundings. You shrugged and cautiously kept on. Who was following you?

You continued running, and before you knew it, the sun had peeked over the walls. You certainly did not want any males seeing you without the shirt on. You quickly shrugged the shirt back on. It was wrinkly, but you could not afford to let anyone see you.

* * *

You swiftly walked back to your cabin. Before you went to open the door, someone opened it and looked you in the eyes. "[Y/N]!" Ryia screamed before almost tackling you and squeezing you. You managed to keep your balance as Ryia shoved her face into your shirt. "I was so worried..." You remembered that you had not seen Ryia for a day, and she was a very loyal person.

"I'm fine Ryia..." You slowly pushed her away. She looked as if she was on the verge of tears. You patted her head of softness, forcing a smile. Then you heard Shadis. "EVERYONE! GET YOUR ASSES HERE!" Oh how you enjoyed him scolding others.

You and Ryia shuffled to your spots. Shadis looked at everyone closely. "As you should know, tommorow is the day that you pick where you want to be as a soldier. And I will not give that sappy crap, so just do what you are going to do."

You looked around at the other students. How would you do? You we're certainly going to choose the Survey Corps. Who wouldn't? Well, other than those who were afraid of death. But you felt as if you knew death as a friend. Then Alike caught your eye. He seemed tense, and it seems as if he was forcing himself to not make an expression. But you saw through him. What was he thinking though?

After Shadis finished, he told you all to do some training. You dispersed. You walked past Alik, as his face shaped into a sly grin. Yeah, something was up. As you walked farther away, you just could not keep the thought out of your head. Then you remembered. _Was Alik the one to see you?_

* * *

You arrived at the Mess Hall for lunch after some training with Ryia. She was only getting stronger with time, and getting used to your movements. Yet, she was still no match for you. You decided to train some more than the others, and then it was lunch before you knew it. You strutted into the hall, and sat down to eat. As you started to eat, you just looked around to see what was going on. You saw a few people gossiping, a few mourning about life, and other things.

Your eyes passed over about every single person. Ryia sat down next to you, smiling like a Ryia. You smiled back at her, as she started a conversation. "I'm sorry for this morning, I was just very excited to see you." She stuffed some bread into her mouth and chewed. "Oh yeah, I heard today that some of the guys are having a eating contest." Eating contest? Did anyone permit this? You guessed that people would give up their rations. You looked to the boys group. You only saw about 5 guys getting ready.

"Alik is in that group too...nudge nudge." Ryia whispered. You noticed that he was. This should be interesting. Then, the guy on the far left stood up. "ATTENTION FELLOW SOLDIERS!" His deep voice boomed throughout the room. Everyone silenced and smiled, were you the only one who did not understand? Then you saw Gryol, Ryia's crush, sit next to you. Ryia automatically reddened. Too cute.

"Hey [Y/N ], do you understand what's going on?" Gryol's dark brown hair lay over one of his blue defiant eyes. You shook your head no.

Ryia looked anxious and twiddled her fingers. Being inbetween both of them would be awkward. So you got up and scooted out. You could not be selfish around Ryia, and you never have. You walled over to where everything was unfolding. You saw Alik there, taking deep breaths. Was it that serious? You leaned against one of the column suspenders and watched.

How hard would it be to watch them?

* * *

 **Author Thoughts: I'm sorry for the shorter chapters, you know, everything. I will see you guys, and also, thank you for 570 views! It really means a lot to me!**


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